Size HEALTHY
Hola to you!
How's your hump day going so far?? Putting together your weekend plans yet? This entire month of February has been nothing but at-home weekends. A few plans here and there that have been lovely but overall, we get to make the weekend what we want it to be! So nice…especially because all of this will change come March. I am traveling 2 weekends in March, both of us are gone in April and then wedding madness begins. Unfold showers, parties, good times and lots of chaos straight through July! I cannot wait! This is the most incredible time of my life, add in this new career = Jenn is mighty happy! 
Workout Baby
Day 9 had a tough start. I felt kind of fatigued, weak, just overall lacking energy when I started my workout. I'm not sure why: could be fuel (not enough carbs or cals), dehydration, lack of rest? Either way, I started slow but ended pretty high.
I completed TurboKick Round 38 (this is one of the rounds or classes, if you will, that I will teach in the gym). Fabulous! Then I moved straight into Chalean Extreme Burn 2. My back and hamstrings were burnin!
Question for you friends: anyone have suggestions on how to build up your hand/forearm strength? My hands and forearms get very very tired when I work my back. Specifically when I do rows. They start to ache because the weights are so heavy and I end up fatiguing the wrong muscle! Thoughts?
Size Healthy Challenge
I want to start with a story. Going take you back to my college years guys 'n gals so sit back, grab a drink and enjoy!
Enter Jenn, at 22. I'm a senior in college, it's the spring semester, I'm living with my 2 most favorite girls in the world. I have good grades, got the boyfriend and a fab apartment. Overall it would appear that I have a pretty good life. Hmm…I wish that were the case.
This was the spring where I got to my lowest weight in college. I won't go in to detail as to what I was doing but I was a solid 20 pounds lighter than I had ever been and I wasn't stopping. I was determined to get to my smallest size. Life would be better at that size, right???
I decided to go shopping as my clothes were getting bigger each month. I took a stroll into GAP where I always bought my jeans (often still do). They had this great new style of jeans that had a bit of a cowboy flare to it and so cute. You know that look. I wanted that look. So I grabbed a few sizes and headed to the fitting room. First size, too big. Second size, also too big. Third size…perfect. I had NEVER worn that size. It was the smallest size in the store and it fit my body. I had done it. I was wearing this size comfortably. I could breathe, no bubble butt going on. Just me, fitting perfectly in these jeans.
But…where was the excitement? Why wasn't I celebrating? And…why didn't I have my girls with me? Why did I feel so alone? It isn't supposed to feel this way at this size, everything should be coming together at this size, right? I mean, other girls seemed to be so happy at this size, why aren't I?
This was a pivotal moment for me, my friends. At this point, I was a full 7 years into my struggle with emotional and disordered eating. My quest of reaching that "perfect size" where life will be just grand and full of happiness was here. And let me tell you…it was very sobering to realize how unhappy and alone I felt. I went home that day, jeans in tow. For some reason I put the jeans in my drawer. I never wore them once. I didn't want this feeling and I didn't want this life. But I didn't know what to do…
Fast forward eight years. Sizes mean nothing to me. Calories mean nothing to me. Food now means balance, health and fuel to me. My choices, my level of happiness and my life are no longer controlled by fitting in to a size or having a particular body. It took me a long, long time to get here but here we are. Happier than ever.
Angela, at Oh She Glows was asked yesterday what size she wore. She simply replied: size HEALTHY. Gosh how beautiful is that? Size healthy.
Our society has created a culture where our appearance is assessed by what size we wear, what clothing we can fit into, what body shape we have and how thin we look. What happened to health? What happened to strength? What happened to pure happiness?
Angela has challenged her readers and I am now challenging myself (well, and YOU!) to stop looking at clothing in terms of size. Stop looking at your body in terms of size. Start looking for health. Let your energy, your vitality and your sense of health = happiness.
Here is how the challenge works: go take a few items of clothing, grab 1 or as many as you would like. Get a sharpie. Write HEALTHY or size healthy or any version you want over the tags that indicate the clothing size. Mark those numbers out. Write your own message of what size you want to be! If it's healthy…write that. If it's happy…write that. If it's strong…write THAT!
I just did this myself. I actually took out a bunch of my jeans. I knew this needed to start with jeans for me because of the memory I just shared with you. And I freely admit it, I hate shopping for jeans. They are so hard to fit on this body of mine, and inevitably I always get frustrated because I am never the same size. But that simply does NOT matter. So here are a few pics of what I did today…
Don't let vanity sizing, expectations or clothing size dictate how you feel about your body. Decide that for yourself according to how you feel and how you treat your body.
Have an awesome rest of the day! I'm off to CPR class for a solid 5 hours. One step closer to teaching classes in the gym!
Till next time!
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You can buy these little squeeze things that are like two handles with a metal coil between them and you hold it in your hand and squeeze to build forearm, hand, strength. They are cheap! Check Walmart or any fitness store.
They are called "Hand Grippers.'" My dad had one when I was growing up and I would use it all the time.
See Wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grippers
Thanks Jolene. I haven't used one of those since my brothers had them when they were in highschool! I may just have to see if they help.
This is a beautiful post and a fantastic idea! I remember when I lost weight I thought it would be the best time of my life. I had never been thin before and since I had always associated it with happiness, I had all these expectations of my 'new life.' Not one of my expectations was right. Learning that size or weight have little to do with my inner happiness was huge. Thanks!
I'm so glad you liked the idea! I think it can be a really powerful way of thinking. And such a simple way to start that thinking!
It is crazy to think of how we imagine ourselves and our lives at a particular weight. It just never ends up being as perfect as we thought it would! Without sounding cliche but it's a bit like money…though it can bring you a lot of items, I don't necessarily think you would find a fabulously wealthy individual who doesn't struggle just like we do!
I loved her answer to the size question as well. I absolutely admire that healthy mentality!
Very nice post Jenn! I read this thinking about when you and I were close and in dance class together. I think about how as much fun as we had together that maybe when it came to body image and self worth we were destructive to each other. Pals that have eating issues in high school, not a very novel idea. hahaha…Anyways, it seems like you have grown into such a beautiful young lady with such a positive attitude. Your post has inspired me "body image wise," to make an effort to focus on healthy once I start to lose the baby weight instead of focusing on getting into my jeans as fast as possible. I am happy to hear your life is going so well
Thanks hun! You know…we had more fun together!!!!
I can still remember it all. I don't think we were necessarily destructive to each other. I think the culture of our school and the crowd we were immersed with. That's breeding ground for body image issues. Throw in some low self esteem and there's no looking back! I'm so thrilled if any of my words help you focus on the healthier ideas out there. 
It's so hard to do, isn't it! I struggle with it just about everyday. You are going to be an incredible mom! Love that belly!!!!
What a great post! I love that you wrote size healthy in your jeans! It's like Operation Beautiful for clothes
You got it!
Hi, I just came across your blog today and I love this post! I think another good thing to do is to get rid of clothes you've been holding onto, hoping to fit into. Unless they are your normal size (that you'd try to get back to after a pregnancy or something) that you feel your healthiest being, give 'em up! I think we all have a few of these articles of clothing
Hi Annie!
Thanks for coming by! That is an awesome idea…half of my closet used to be my "other size" clothes. About 6 months ago I finally got rid of everything that didn't fit. I never knew I would feel so relieved! Now my closet has nothing but items that fit me perfectly!